A New Bend in the Road

The move from the ranch taught me an important lesson:  God does not want me to be comfortable.  He wants me to be content and joyful in all circumstances, but not comfortable.  In his wisdom he has reminded me that I have a job to do and that is to serve Him.  Even though I was serving him through my role as wife and mother, He needed to me to know what it was to obey.  And so when the headmaster of the christian school my children attended asked me if I'd consider teaching there, I knew that God had opened another door and I would obey.

So just when I got in to the swing of things as an event planner, I became a teacher; something I said I'd never be.  And it's not because the profession is beneath me, but because when you grow up in a small town in Texas, its automatically assumed this is what you'll become, and I had spent most of my life, trying to surpass small town expectations.  Plus, my entire family network is made up of teachers and I wanted to be different. 

Homeschooling your own kids is different than being a classroom teacher in just about every aspect.  So I went into the job with apprehension and insecurity because I wasn't trained for this, even though I had been homeschooling for several years.  My safeguard was that it was a classical school and I had a grasp of the methodoligy and a fresh outlook on what education should be.  I may have not been a trained, experienced teacher, but I felt like I could at least be passionate about educating the whole child.   Plus, I felt it was an inspired calling so obviousely, the Lord would guide me.

I had a wonderful year teaching eight children.  It gave me an entirely new appreciation for teachers and for private schools.  I loved my class so much and felt like they were an extension of my own family. I was able to implement things in my classroom that I never had in my own education, in addition to intertwine God into the framework of the entire day so that not only was it an education but also a misnistry of sorts.   And it was exhausting.  Holy cow, who knew how much work it would be! 

I had an unrealistic expectation that I'd be so much closer to my own children and could participate more in their classroom events, but was I wrong!  I don't think I went to one classroom party for my own kids.  I missed every field trip and didn't have the time to visit my daughters preK classroom once, like most other moms.  I was so busy planning, grading, fundraising, directing the Christmas play, taking my  own class on field trips that I missed everything my own children were involved in.  

Even though it was exhausing, it was satisfying work.  I was totally invested in the mission of the christian school, invested in the mission of classical education in a remote, rural town.  I had great dreams for what the school would become and for the roles my children would play in its growth.  It never surpassed our homeschool experience, but it came close.  At the end of the school year I found a new self confidence that the next year it would be even better because I would know what I was doing... but there would be no next year, because things were about to change again.